Sunday, July 4, 2010

Kids Helping Kids

Make a wish foundation eat your heart out, here's an idea that will surely brighten the lives of terminally ill children the world over.

Believe it or not there are thousands if not millions of children around the world who have been diagnosed with terminal illnesses. These children and adolescents will never have the opportunity to experience that which we all take for granted...like living! Although we can't provide them with a cure, we can make what little time they have on this earth as meaningful and fruitful as possible. There are wonderful organizations like the make-a-wish foundation that provide a few fortunate terminally ill patients with vacations and experiences that would make anyone’s top ten lists. But the fact remains that they can't help everyone, and frankly, I believe their only just throwing their money down a well.
Now let’s now take a walk down memory lane, back to those days of early adolescents. That Topsy Turvy time in all our lives when we spent more time worrying about fitting in and when and if we'd ever find love like in the movies (back off, i can barely remember yesterday so bear with me the points around the corner). Some of us remember that time more fondly than others but the point is that most of these children will be stripped of those experiences (good and bad) that define each and every one of us as human beings.
What I’m getting at in a very sordid and winded way is, let's not let kids die virgins! Now I know everyone is in an uproar, you sick, perverted delusional excuse for a human being, fine..fine but hold on a minute (the original focus groups were lukewarm at the very least but what do they know, most of them are against pro-choice and are pro-the right to bear arms but i digress).
Look back to when you were a teenager (especially if you’re male). What would you rather do, Go to Disney world or get laid for the first time...hmm let me think about that one...and fornicating with Minnie mouse is not one of the options. So now comes the tough part, how do we help terminal patients find love. It’s not like there's a dating service for them (well not yet anyways : ) ) and I don't think we'd be able to convince anybody to let us bring escorts into the equation with all the laws against having relations with minors. Thirdly, it'll be hard to convince healthy children to sack up with the terminal even though that would be an age appropriate solution. So this is what I propose:

Help Kids Help Kids Find Love!
We'll match up children with terminal diseases with other children with terminal diseases and let them figure it out. We can provide books on the act of dating, making love, and pamphlets decreeing the coolness of no longer being a virgin and let them run with it. At least this way we can touch as many kids (get your mind out of the gutter) all over the world as possible. I'm sure we could find a few adults to help out but that might be crossing a line. At the very least, these children may have the opportunity to be loved by their peers, who understand exactly what they are going through and can provide them with support and acceptance that we as healthy LIVING humans can't quite provide. And it’s not like the cancer patients have to worry about birth control, cause there is no way they could get pregnant with all the medications their taking. No condoms, No STD's to worry about (they're all virgins and who cares anyway their moving on to a better place) No Oral contraceptive pill! what’s not to love.
Of course we'll have to provide a revised sex education program for the kids and their parents. If we can somehow involve the parents of these children, I believe we can modestly strive for an experience that these children will surely be thankful for.

Be good and God bless

ps: I think the guy from reading rainbow would be perfect as our spokes person…what do you all think?

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