My pockets are a little person's wonderland

Randy Newman: Short People

- apparently he wrote this song from the perspective of an person who dislikes the vertically challenged.

- If your wondering how i came across this, for once its pretty simple...I have been watching episodes of Monk. The theme song 'It's a jungle out there' was written and performed by Randy Newman (I gamoogled it), from which its just a hop and a skip...or if your a little person, a grappling hook and some pegs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NvgLkuEtkA

here's another classic (grain of salt)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nGw_vAnqPI&feature=related

and here's Randy Newman's wiki page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Newman

and here's a Mad TV Spoof

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK-p3mtyhRc&feature=related

Diabetes be gone

http://www.fakenews.net/archive/transcripts/a/Norm_MacDonald_-_Just_For_Laughs.mp3

Step 1: no more sugar with coffee.

Step 2: we'll see

Listen to the clip its pretty funny...

'Laughter is the best medicine..."

Bitter Much

Legend: AUM = Association de Ultimate de Montreal
Les Betes Noire = The team that beat us with their lame puppet show
Fruit reference = Other teams that have done well just give out fruit or candy or Ice cream...all forms of bribery

“Bitter Much” : to the tune of Jessie’s Girl by Slick Rick Springfield (one in every state)

The AUM was a friend,
Yeah, I know you’ve been
A good friend at times

But lately something's changed
That ain't hard to define
You gave away our award,

Which definitely isn’t fine,
And now your judging us with those eyes
And your making love to those puppets!,
I just know it!
Yeah 'n' holding Les Betes in your arms late,
Late at night

You know, I wish we had the Spirit Award,
I wish that I had that Damn award
Where can I find a trophy like that
We’ve played along with the charade,
there definitely seems to be a reason to change
You know, we feel so dirty
When they start giving fruit
Wanna tell them that their cheating,
But the point is probably moot
And now your judging us with those eyes
And your making love to those puppets!,
I just know it!
Yeah 'n' holding Les Betes in your arms late,
Late at night

Les Betes Noire,
Give us that Spirit Award…
Where can I find a Gimmick,
Where can I find a Gimmick like that
And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time,
Wondering what you don't see in me
We've been funny,
We've been cool with the lines
Ain't that the way
Spirits supposed to be
Tell me, where can I find some Spirit like that

[Solo]

You know, I wish I was Les Betes Noire!,
We wish we had the Spirit Award
We want the Damn Award,
Where can I find a trophy like that, like
the Spirit Award,
I wish that I had a Puppet Show,
I want,
I want a freaking Puppet Show

The Unforgiven

http://articles.latimes.com/print/2010/nov/16/sports/la-sp-plaschke-20101117

- Do we ever forgive transgressions (small or big) within the context of the 'justice system'

- Is the notion of rehabilitation a farce, or better yet an exercise in futility, for a change I don't have any suggestions

- Forgive but never forget, or Say we forgive...never forget...and passive-aggressively continue to punish individuals for their breech in trust. At the end of the day criminality (the broader sense of the word including any breach of law, with law including our own personal moral codes and opinions..yes I like the word and not taking it out) underscores a breech in trust, and once lost, is it ever truly regained? Ideologically we may say of course...but is it really!

I need to start ranting when its fresh. Otherwise it comes off as passionless, rather than the preferred semi-coherent verbal diarrhea.

on a side, for one night at least, Vick's transgressions were forgotten.

The Blind Squirrel Who Found a Nut

Manchester Orchestra (Indie Band out of Atlanta)

'I can feel a hot one'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDs08ydnvHw

The Unforgiving Servant

Matt 18:23-35 Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who wanted to reconcile accounts with his servants. When he had begun to reconcile, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But because he couldn’t pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, with his wife, his children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down and kneeled before him, saying, ‘Lord, have patience with me, and I will repay you all!’ The lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. "But that servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him one hundred denarii, and he grabbed him, and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ "So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will repay you!’ He would not, but went and cast him into prison, until he should pay back that which was due. So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were exceedingly sorry, and came and told to their lord all that was done. Then his lord called him in, and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt, because you begged me. Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, even as I had mercy on you?’ His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, until he should pay all that was due to him. So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don’t each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds."

original link:

http://www.bcbsr.com/survey/pbl14.html

Neuroses, Superstition and practicality

Wake up this morning and head into the kitchen to make some coffee. Reach under the sink to grab the coffee machine (don't make it every day therefore it doesn't have any reserved space on the counter-top...more on that later), add 2 cups of water and then 3 heaping (pyramids of Giza, heaping) tablespoons of the best cheap maxwell house coffee, money can buy. It took some years but I have learned to appreciate the finer aromas only found in a fresh brewed pot of maxwell house..."the best part of waking up"...oops wrong company.

So after flipping the switch, I contemplate whether or not there's any cream in the fridge. Firm believer that coffee is not worth drinking (especially this 5* hogwash they call maxwell house...and seriously maxwell house was probably a plantation owned by the maxwell family. So if you ever run into a Maxwell...punch 'em in the genitals for

a. Slavery

b. Crimes against humanity (Coffee production)

I had to put slavery first or else I'd feel bad all day and have to watch Amistad tonight followed by 3 sets of personal flogging aka self flagellation (lol personal flogging...sounds dirty doesn't it).

Talk about side track...so then I open the fridge door and pull out the milk and am trying to decide whether or not prepare a cup with cream and sugar or just wait till game time (when the coffee is brewed). I decide on the former, but the problem arises when it comes to selecting a mug. Rather than choosing the mug I always use, I end up putting it back in the cupboard and grabbing the mug right next to it. While trying to make up my mind about whether or not to change cups today it dawns on me that maybe a new cup is in order to shake things up a little. A curve ball of sorts.

It's not like i'm frosty standing at the cross roads trying to make a decision that's going to shape my life. At the moment it felt as if this was the first and most important decision of the day...one that would shape how this day, and those to come would play themselves out. The fact that i'm writing about this may make some believe that my early morning conundrum may very well be signs of neurotic tendencies...but if, and only if this decision has no impact. But if by inciting this very tale, the mug has changed in a little way my future decisions (for instance wasting time writing this) then it may very well have been practical. I guess we'll have to see how this plays itself out. Anyways back to the cream.

18% is over kill but it does make Tim Horton's blend of rocks and sticks taste wonderful. I'm a firm believer that if your going to eat, you should eat well. Definitely not quantity, it's all about doing everything in moderation, but enjoying every bite and sip along the way. Otherwise what's the point. If your like me and you don't want to eat porridge every morning, then you have to find an equivalent substitute that you truly enjoy. A piece of bread, some cheese, tomato and some yogurt...the wonderful backpackers breakfast. It's got everything you need, especially if you wash it down with a nice cup of coffee infused with 10% cream...hmm nice and fatty.

That's enough for today...

30 km in a school zone

G 'n R

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNQsDfkL8bY&feature=related

or

Crow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGAqBG0DsHg

Sweet Child O'mine

She’s got a flick that it seem to me

Reminds me of ulti memories

Where everything

Was as fresh as an (insert name) Sky

Now and then when I see (insert name) face

They take me away to that special place

[Girls sing next 2 verses]

But if the guys throw long

I’d probably break down and cry

Ohh, Ohh, Ohh

Sweet disc o’mine

Ohh, Ohh, Ohh

Sweet pass on time

She’s got eyes for the coolest try’s

As if they brought her gain

I like to look into their plays

And learn about this game

Her dump reminds me of warm safe place

When I pass it off the line

And pray for the swing

And then the disc

To deftly pass up line

Ohh, Ohh, Ohh

Sweet bid o’mine

Ohh, Ohh, Ohh

Sweet zone of mine

Ohh, Ohh, Ohh

Sweet bid o’mine

Ohh, Ohh, Ohh

Sweet pass on time

[this next bit get repetitive]

When do we zone

Where do we stack now

Where is the dump

Sweet team o’mine

To tuck or not to tuck

A little awkward since the inspiration for this came to me during that period between slumber and awakening. The following song popped into my head but I couldn't remember all the lyrics...So when I woke up I started singing it and believing that it would make a wonderful template for a cheer template. A little sappy and still needs work...but i think you can do something with it.

Whitney Houston's 'Saving All My Love For You'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFje7XoXn9Q&feature=fvw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjMDFIIm5ug

A few stolen moments is all that we share
You've got your team, and they need you there
Though I've tried to resist, being last on the disc
But no other D’s gonna do
So I'm saving all my cheer for you

It's not very easy, when your left all alone
My friends try and tell me, find a gap of my own
But each time I try, I just break down and cry
Cause I can’t seem to shake you off
So I'm saving all my hucks for you

You used to tell me we'd run down the field together
Ultimate gives you the right to be free
Coach said be patient, just wait a little longer
But that's just an old disc fantasy
I've got to get ready, just a few minutes more
Gonna get that old feeling when you pick it off the floor
For tonight is the night, for feeling alright
We'll be hucking the whole night through
So I'm saving all my drops
Yes I'm saving all my lays
Yes I'm saving all my plays for you

No other team, is gonna fight you more
Cause tonight is the night, that we’re feeling alright
We'll be making plays the whole night through
So We’re saving all our flicks
Yeah We’re saving all our bids
Yes We’re saving all our cheers for you
For you, for you

Kids Helping Kids

Make a wish foundation eat your heart out, here's an idea that will surely brighten the lives of terminally ill children the world over.

Believe it or not there are thousands if not millions of children around the world who have been diagnosed with terminal illnesses. These children and adolescents will never have the opportunity to experience that which we all take for granted...like living! Although we can't provide them with a cure, we can make what little time they have on this earth as meaningful and fruitful as possible. There are wonderful organizations like the make-a-wish foundation that provide a few fortunate terminally ill patients with vacations and experiences that would make anyone’s top ten lists. But the fact remains that they can't help everyone, and frankly, I believe their only just throwing their money down a well.
Now let’s now take a walk down memory lane, back to those days of early adolescents. That Topsy Turvy time in all our lives when we spent more time worrying about fitting in and when and if we'd ever find love like in the movies (back off, i can barely remember yesterday so bear with me the points around the corner). Some of us remember that time more fondly than others but the point is that most of these children will be stripped of those experiences (good and bad) that define each and every one of us as human beings.
What I’m getting at in a very sordid and winded way is, let's not let kids die virgins! Now I know everyone is in an uproar, you sick, perverted delusional excuse for a human being, fine..fine but hold on a minute (the original focus groups were lukewarm at the very least but what do they know, most of them are against pro-choice and are pro-the right to bear arms but i digress).
Look back to when you were a teenager (especially if you’re male). What would you rather do, Go to Disney world or get laid for the first time...hmm let me think about that one...and fornicating with Minnie mouse is not one of the options. So now comes the tough part, how do we help terminal patients find love. It’s not like there's a dating service for them (well not yet anyways : ) ) and I don't think we'd be able to convince anybody to let us bring escorts into the equation with all the laws against having relations with minors. Thirdly, it'll be hard to convince healthy children to sack up with the terminal even though that would be an age appropriate solution. So this is what I propose:

Help Kids Help Kids Find Love!
We'll match up children with terminal diseases with other children with terminal diseases and let them figure it out. We can provide books on the act of dating, making love, and pamphlets decreeing the coolness of no longer being a virgin and let them run with it. At least this way we can touch as many kids (get your mind out of the gutter) all over the world as possible. I'm sure we could find a few adults to help out but that might be crossing a line. At the very least, these children may have the opportunity to be loved by their peers, who understand exactly what they are going through and can provide them with support and acceptance that we as healthy LIVING humans can't quite provide. And it’s not like the cancer patients have to worry about birth control, cause there is no way they could get pregnant with all the medications their taking. No condoms, No STD's to worry about (they're all virgins and who cares anyway their moving on to a better place) No Oral contraceptive pill! what’s not to love.
Of course we'll have to provide a revised sex education program for the kids and their parents. If we can somehow involve the parents of these children, I believe we can modestly strive for an experience that these children will surely be thankful for.

Be good and God bless

ps: I think the guy from reading rainbow would be perfect as our spokes person…what do you all think?

Who was St. Andrew

Well according to Wikipedia he was Saint Peter's younger brother, and his name was definitely not his given name. There is apparently no documented evidence of Andrew or Andreas being his or anyone's name. So where exactly did he get his name. The question might seem a little perplexing until you take into account the fact that most of these characters were Jews. The first few editions of the bible were written by Christians who didn't want to proclaim that all their buddies were Jews...so they started referring to them all as AND Jew. But over time, as more and more Christian names were created, many of those AND Jew were given proper names except by the time they got to peter's younger brother…they ran out of names and just went with ANDJEW, which later metamorphed into ANDREW.

And that's the twruth!

Brother, can you spare a dime?

"Ask me how poor we were as kids

- How poor were you as kids?

We were so poor we couldn't afford a fire. Come New Year's Eve my father would suck on a peppermint, and us kids, we'd stand around with our hands outstretched, basking in the glow."

Let the performers know that we're about to begin

This here be courtesy of Neil Gaiman, author of "American Gods".

'I'll tell you all my secrets

But I lie about my past

send me off to bed forever more.'

- Tom Waits "Tango till they're sore"